MIA

I had a conversation recently with a young brother who is trying to decide whether or not to leave his current church. We talked about when it's right to leave...when you should stay and be submitted to the leadership...how God sometimes moves people and even sometimes removes people from churches...and what it means to leave well. It's a tough subject, but one I think we need to address.

Usually the first thing that happens is someone just turns up MIA...missing in action. Then the question that usually gets asked is, "Why did so & so leave?" There are as many answers to that question as there are people who leave, but over the next few posts I'm going to try to give you a few answers to that question, and here's the first one...

• Ch-ch-change!

This is probably the #1 reason why people leave a church, especially a growing church. As any organization grows it changes. Leadership structures change...policies change...systems change...relationships change...and sometimes it's just too much for some to handle. Sometimes it's a staff change. A respected staff member leaves for another job in another church. Even positive changes like moving into a new facility can create so much change that some just can't handle it.

Psychologists tell us that the reality is that most people don't handle change well. I know, you're different! But here's what I've noticed - even people who say they like change, sometimes struggle with change. It's just part of human nature I guess. So as a church grows and changes there inevitably will be a number of folks who struggle with that.

When that happens we need to do all we can to help them adapt to the changes and even embrace the change (if that's possible). But if they just can't adapt and accept the change the best thing for them and for the church is to find another church home. Otherwise they're going to be miserable and they'll make everyone else around them miserable too!

More on this tomorrow...

P.S. For a pastor's angle on this check out my friend Scott Hodge's posts [here], [here] and [here].

Comments

[NHC attender]

Pastor -

I wanted to follow up with you b/c I believe that the conversation referenced was with myself.

I wanted to let you know what I have taken away from our conversation, the major themes anyway

What I learned/ was reminded of:

- Doing things the right way; one of which is to be up front and honest with people about your intentions with the church.

- If you are going to serve in a church or be a part of a church, submit to the leadership, a biblical principle illustrated in the story of David and Saul. The leadership is accountable to God.

Thanks again and God Bless

NHC attender