MIA Pt. 3

I love talking about vision. Most leaders do. It's something in our blood I guess. I love dreaming about the future and thinking about what God might do. I love talking about what God has called NHC to be and do and how that all came about over 21 years ago.

But there's a funny thing that happens almost every time I talk about vision at NHC. Somebody either leaves or begins the process of leaving. I end the day feeling fired up about what God is doing but they walk away thinking, "I thought this church (fill in the blank)." Basically it comes down to being on a different page than the leadership of the church...having a different vision.

I remember a few years ago there was a short-lived movement of churches that tried to become the church for everyone. They actually would start up in a city and call themselves "The Church Of (fill in the name of the town)." That didn't last long.

And there's a good reason why. I'm firmly convinced that God knows no church can be THE church for everyone. I believe it's even part of his plan to use different churches to reach different people. We're all part of the big "C" Church - the Body of Christ - but God obviously gives varying visions to different leaders so they can reach a segment of the lost.

So as long as a leader's vision is God-honoring and Biblical, and it's not unethical or illegal a church attender has basically two options: 1) get on board, sell out to the vision and work along side the God-ordained leadership of that church, or 2) find another church that has a vision you can follow.

Unfortunately, too many church attenders try to play out a third option - force the leader to change the vision.  They complain, gossip, stop giving, stop serving, attempt to gather support from others - all in an attempt to get the leader to change the vision and do church the way they want it done.

Bottom line - none of that activity is Biblical or God-honoring. Once again, the best thing for them and for the church is to find another church. That WOULD be Biblical, God-honoring and the healthiest thing for the Body of Christ.

Comments

[Dave]

Gina,

I'm sorry to hear that you had difficulty "fitting in" at NHC. As hard as we try to help people connect at NHC, I will be the first to admit we're not always successful.

In the last year or so we have streamlined the process a great deal, though, and we now have some very simple, clear steps to take to connect with others. I'm sorry that didn't happen for you sooner.

But it also sounds to me as if there are deeper spiritual issues going on for you. The losses of this life will do one of two things: cause you to pull away from your faith, or cause you to draw deeper into it.

I don't know the details about the loss of your marriage, but it's obviously a very painful thing. Having been through a painful loss myself, I know what that feels like.

I can't say the pain goes away or that you'll find all the answers to your questions, but I can say that it's possible to draw near to God and feel his love and his presence in your life again.

I'll be praying for you, Gina. If I can help in any way let me know.

Dave

P.S. You can always come back to God and NHC! Check out PS 34:18.

[Gina]

I'm not surprised by the 4.9 years (previous post)that is the average number of years people stay in a church. About 10 years ago (I don't know what it is now)the average stay of a minister was less than 2 years (I'm assuming Baptist, since I was then at a Baptist seminary), so that is a lot of change for people to deal with. Unfortunately it is uncommon for a minister to stay at one church for his career or even half of it, and even though the minister is not the church, he/she is a very stabilizing source.

I also agree that not every church is right for every person and there is kind of a shop around attitude among attenders. However, it does benefit the church to have people who feel they are a part and feel they can find a place to contribute.

I've been MIA from NHC for about 2 years. I've never moved my membership, I haven't been attending anywhere else .... and I haven't been contacted. I guess I kind of invisibly slipped away.

I've been inactive for various and not very good reasons. I've been in grad school for two years and did most of my course work on Sundays due to still working a full-time job. I also just felt like I could never find a place to fit in. I'm in that "over 40 and single again" category (after an 8 1/2 month marriage that kind of shattered my belief system)and I just always felt like I really didn't know where to even start to find a place.

One thing I did always appreciate about attending at NHC was the fact that I always felt the sermons or "lessons" were completely Biblically sound.

[Loretta]

Wow, what a different (and positive) perspective from how I was brought up! It's a good thing to be clear that membership (or attender-ship?) in a church carries responsbilities, such as serving, giving, and praying. It's a bad thing to assume that members are in it for life because, as you say, people and churches change.

When I left my parents' denomination, because in order to make my faith my own as the guys did in Genesis I simply couldn't stay there, my mom told me I was leaving the true church (and no, they're not Roman Catholic). She didn't go quite so far as to say that I was condemned, but it was very, very hard for her. She reminded me that at my baptism I had promised to support the church, and she felt that I was reneging on that promise. (I felt that I had changed between the ages of 9 and 22 and it was time to find someplace that fit me, not her.) We've made our peace in the decades since then (and NHC was a big step along that road), but it's very freeing to hear that it's OK to look for someplace where you DO fit.

Not that I have any intention of going anywhere! :-)